Why this Customer Education position is like Star Wars.

There are 2 versions of this ad. Below is the anaemic version. Bonus points if you can find the more analeptic version. And provide proof of your quest. Good luck!

• The CE Engineer will work for a high-growth, customer-centric, London-based tech business.
• The CE Engineer will earn up to £60,000+ p.a. plus benefits.
• The CE Engineer will enjoy a strong work/life balance culture and hybrid working.
• The CE Engineer will be the human face of an award-winning suite of tech products.
• The CE Engineer will empower customers via video tutorials, webinars and knowledge bases.
• The CE Engineer will provide customers with tools, training and resources needed to maximise their investment.
• The CE Engineer will enhance the customer experience and build long-term loyalty.
• The CE Engineer will champion customer self-sufficiency to boost their confidence and independence.
• The CE Engineer will design, build and implement self-service portals, checklists and user groups / communities.
• The CE Engineer will establish customer feedback loops to gain valuable real-world insight.
• The CE Engineer will provide technical support, ensuring that customer issues are resolved quickly and efficiently.
• The CE Engineer will be the face of our interactive product tours.
• The CE Engineer will work closely with our Sales, Product and Engineering teams.
• The CE Engineer will conduct NPS / CSAT surveys.
• The CE Engineer will manage confidential and proprietary information.
• The CE Engineer will boast a STEM Bachelors and/or Masters qualification.
• The CE Engineer will be a highly accomplished individual, both personally and professionally.
• The CE Engineer will have first-class communication skills, both written and oral.
• The CE Engineer will have entrepreneurial flair, a can-do attitude, be hungry, ambitious, innovative and self-sufficient.

Still with us? Great. Then please share a CV and short intro video (45s max) convincing us that you actually enjoyed reading this ad. We look forward to hearing from you.